pokhara, nepal

The brief hiatus I took to tromp around the Kumbu region (made famously by the Great One, Mt. Everest) was completely amazing, and an exceptionally good holiday. For 20 days I hiked around, visited high lakes for lunches, summitted Himalayan 'hills' (fair enough, my highest hill was 5,887 meters / 19,261 ft), hiked over hairy passes and just in general viewed what can surely be claimed as the most beautiful mountains in the world.

And you know how much I like mountains. It even snowed one morning.

But today I write with a very heavy heart. The world is apparently not all cakes and ice cream.

I came back to Pokhara not knowing what to expect after receiving a very undetailed, ominous email from Pamela / Emma about the 6 boys. Bear in mind that when I was leaving for Everest my prime concern was finding them an older male who could just be in their life similar to how I have but wouldn't have to leave because of visas, wanting to go home, etc. Essentially, a reliable older male who could teach them values and be in their life continually. My other concern was simply that they do their homework.
And this is what I found.

I will explain in order of each boy.

Tall Saroj claims he wants to go back to his village to take care of his family. I don't believe this quite yet. At least I don't think he wants to right now. Unfortunately, being what is usually the most responsible of the 6 boys he is, perhaps, the least cool and therefore the most needy of friends. I fear that his recent friendships he has made have more than started to lead him down sketchy paths. I have been very uncontrolling with managing where they go at night, as that is more than just an uphill battle, and have merely had strong conversations with them about the importance of who you hang out with having a strong impact on your life. So, that decision is his. I believe that at the end of the day he is trading his home, food, and school for the ability to hang out with these sketchy friends. Like I said, he has a record of being the most responsible, but at the same time, he's a 14-year-old boy. Pamela has been able to manage their finances, their food, their education, and even a pseudo-father figure to be in their life, but how do you manage peers that offer acceptance? And the fact that that one element being the strongest force in their life is mind-boggling, frustrating, and just plain baffling.

Gopal decided that he didn't like the school they were going to, and in usual form at least semi-convinced all the other boys that they should find a Nepali school. I woke him up yesterday at noon at the Busy Bee where was sleeping and has found work. The Busy Bee is probably the most popular tourist bar in Pokhara, where he now sells plane tickets from what I have gathered. To be honest, if he is supporting himself (or has found his own means for support) I respect that and his choice. He seems to be doing well. However, he is always the driver of the bandwagon, and his demands towards a better school have left a ripple effect of independent-thinking/ leaving on the other kids. And he's not even going to Nepali school. Which is free. Frustrating.

San Saroj is back to being the typical street kid. As the dullest out of all of them, I don't think he can think past what he simply knew before of walking around and offering tourists cheap hash. Heartbreaking. A really sweet kid, but needs so much love and encouragement and structure and I'm afraid the streets don't really have a track record for offering those commodities in abundance.

Bibek I have also heard is on the streets. I heard that he is around Lakeside, and I heard that he is there because he doesn't like taking tests. He's quite smart, and even gets good grades. Remember when you complained about homework, and at the most maybe threw a temper tantrum in response? Escaping to the streets of a city probably didn't really cross your mind as a potentially good idea. Especially at the age of 11. Well, welcome to their lives.

Arjun and Dorje from what i can tell wish to remain under room and board and go to school. They are after all, the most naturally intelligent. I really believe it was a matter of time for a couple of the rest, but for these, they see this genuinely as their best opportunity. There's not much more they can bear as their resources have been altered to adjust for the others leaving. So my goal for them is just to offer some stability for a few days, until their normal accomodations become, well, normal, again. Today I asked them why they wanted to go to school and not run away and they just said, "We like to read." Somehow I don't fully buy it, there's some truth in it I'm sure, but I think they understand what they have as being pretty good. I don't know.

To say that my heart was quite heavy this morning was an understatement. To have an almost parting chat with Tall Saroj essentially telling him that I don't care what he does, whether it's study English or make cabinets, that the measure of a man is determined on the choices one makes every day, was more than I anticipated after having left for only three weeks. That's all I have to offer this kid who is deciding a path affecting the rest of his life, possibly heavily influenced by shady friends. Such a good, solid, respectful kid who took care of the rest of the six guys for years might be throwing it all away for the sake of some acceptance. He was often the only one to respect me and my words. But, welcome to 14-years-old. I will not attempt to force these kids into any situation. I will not even offer my opinion. All I am attempting is to show them clearly what decisions they have, what their affect will be, and what is affecting their decisions. So hard to watch them go--

It's funny that regarding the one that found work at the Busy Bee, Gopal, I just hope he does well. I guess I just see a step in maturity and taking accountability for his own life out of him. I don't think school was fully for him, but I just hopes he finds a place of being amongst good people. And makes an honest living. Can you imagine, at 14, choosing to engage in wage-earning from school? Yet, for some of them, it's vying as the best option.

We'll see where it goes from here. On one hand, it's hard to see all this happen right before I leave, but at the same time, if it was going to happen, I'm glad I was here to be there with them through it. Sometimes you just hit a breaking point I guess, and so many of the natural elements that naturally occur in most people's lives have been merely pieced together like a bad piece of furniture for these kids lives. Things like love, support (financial and emotional), consistency, education, all from different, random sources that can only offer a little bit for a little time, all attempting to fill the holes left by those who would most naturally offer it and were most not able to. I have learned that we're all doing the best we can, but I'm also learning about the reality of the world being a harsh, cruel place.

Okay, I'm going to go hunt down Gopal and have an adult chat with him over some chow mein. Since he's entered the adult world now.

And then try to find Bibek.