pokhara, nepal

hello friends.

i wish i could fully explain how happy the mountains make me. some of you are clued into this. let me try to offer you the highlight- i woke up at 5:00am (an hour later than hoped) to watch the remainder of the forecasted meteor shower. I walked outside my room of the teahouse I was staying at situated at the base camp of Mount Annapurna (South and I, there's actually 5 of them) at roughly 14,000 ft. altitude. After watching about one meteor a minute on a perfectly clear night, the sun started to rise. What this means in the Himalayas is that the tops of the mountains are seemingly lit on fire with what only the Germans have found an appropriate name for, "alpenglow." Maybe the Austrians said it first, that would make more sense.

I got my morning cup of coffee and had one of the most spectacular surveys of the world ever, in a valley surrounded by 20,000m+ peaks standing on fresh snow from the night before. I love snow.

Snow. Mountains. I was the last person to leave the base camp and head back down I'm pretty sure. All the other people I guess were in a rush to head back down to reality and pollution. Once the clouds rolled in, I decided it was a good time to jet and we made our way down mountains that US wise most closely resemble the Smoky Mountains. So, in one day you can walk from a height higher than any of the Rockies in Colorado, to an environment only found in southern mountains verging on tropical. Amazing.

When I say, "we" I mean I was joined by one of the little homies I'm taking care of, Soraj. He was the only of the 6 that did not want to visit his home for the holiday season we're in right now, so I took him trekking instead. Here's the problem with Nepalis and the mountains. They're really good at it, but they see no point. They think goras (white people) are stupid for trekking, and can't understand why we do it, because if they walk in the mountains it's because they have to (either work or transportation). But, Soraj did amazingly well and had a great attitude. And, I'm pretty sure that he's now the only Pokhara city kid that knows how to read a topographical map. Which I assure was a struggle each morning as he didn't even have a grasp on the concept of altitude or direction. But, now, he can manage a topo map. Hooray. Success.

Moreso, since I don't know when I'll get to write next I'll go ahead and indulge on this: I have discovered that looking after 6 teenage boys who are essentially orphaned (by their own choice, mainly avoiding not-good family situations) that have grown up on the street isn't exactly Candyland or Chutes and Ladders. If anything it's like playing Risk with the really crafty manipulative friend that we all have. I want to say "unfortunately," but really it's just the reality of the situation that the role I have to fill has been about 90% discipline. Maybe my standards are too high. My standards that I hold in their life in any encounter we have are as follows:
1.don't lie
2.don't steal
3.do your homework

This consumes over 90% of my time with them as I have already mentioned. Here's more of the issue. They have roughly 546 mothers around them. The women who pay their school, their teachers, their cook-lady. But not one dude. Except yours truly. They are fed, schooled, and taken care of, but apparently, not consistenly held accountable or challenged. Yikers. This is not what I had in mind, but kay gar ni (what do do)? The really frustrating part is that I'm attempting to fill a role in their life left not only void, but with negative impact, roughly 14 years too late. Add in the enjoyable surge of hormones of a teenager and it leads to a pretty interesting mezcla of issues.

I have hesitated to post this, since I didn't want to 1.sound like I'm complaining 2. make the kids look bad in any way, but I figure only the people who really care are looking at this anyway. It's tough, but good. Everyday is a new issue with a new kid. I suppose every given day some issue arises birthed of of simply those three standards above that I hold. Homework is the most annoying one I have to deal with, probably because I wasn't exactly the homework king in my day. But, I never scored 0 out of 20 on a math exam which is why I started holding that standard for them. But I digress.

Believe me. I am wide eyed looking for a person who can fill my role after I leave. Basically a loving, consistent, male who is smarter and stronger than them who can teach and encourage them. This is my dilemma. This is why I haven't decided when I'm coming home. Because all this work I am doing now will easily vanish without the void being replaced. I look at all the Nepali guys I see around, and zero feasible candidates have been presented. It's a bit frustrating. ps- I have barely even tapped into the issues I have hoped to tap into with young males, as I'm still trying to clear the basics that are wiped out at the age of 4.

So, there you have it. There's the reality of the situation. But the thing that keeps me going is realizing that the amount of energy and frustration and effort I am forced to put into these kids is simply the balance of the amount that they need it, and haven't received it. Believe me, somedays a quick flight home is really attractive, but in the long run, it just seems to keep getting delayed.

I'll keep you posted. but now you know.