This is the continued edition of what you'll find at restoredyouth.blogspot.com (since blogger seems to have done away with the handy hyperlink function).
I have learned so much. Here's the first thing I learned, which I had hoped to expound on earlier, but better now than never.
The day after my last post titled, "pokhara, nepal" I was out with friends in the popular tourist area known as Lakeside which is where street kids go to live because that's where the money is. From tourists. Fair enough, they're actually quite clever (there's no motivator like survival). My favorite is the football scam where an innocent looking kid comes up to you with a piece of notebook paper that has their plea personally handwritten. The letter says that they want to grow up and be a professional football (soccer) player, and they want to join their local team but can only show up for the team if they have their own football. They ask you to buy them a football, or at least donate to the cause and even have a section where you write your name, your country, and your amount of donation. Like Girl Scout Cookies. But here's the deal, if you give them money, they just pocket it and use it for food, drugs, or even a room at night. But, if you buy them a football, the shop owner will have sold it to you for probably 1200 Nepali rupees (about $20). They return the football to the shop, and the shop owner simply gives them what he made on the deal, probably minus a little (maybe like 1000 rupees since the cost of the football is 200 rupees). The shop owner is obviously in on selling an item and not having to buy a new one to replace it. You can have your cake and eat it too. So, the shop owner's happy, the kids are happy, even the tourist is happy because he just helped solved the world's problems one football-at-a-time. Clearly everyone involved has read the Win-Win Negotiator. The grown up version of this scam is the ever-popular gemstone scam. I even had the opportunity to be fully wine and dined by my local dealer before I decided to not show up for the signing deal with my credit cards and passport ready to give to this very nice looking fellow. Sketchy. Everyone wants a piece of the action.
But I digress.
Lakeside, right. Out with friends. As I was walking a couple of my friends back to their hotels I heard some kids yelling, "Jay Dai, Jay Dai!" (which translated means, "Brother J, brother J!" Since I was looking for the boys that had earlier run away I told my friends to keep going because I needed to see what was going on. As I approached the awning they were sitting under I saw three kids, about 12 years old, that I had never met in my life. I questioned them about how they knew my name, and they just said that they always see me around and know that I 'help kids like us out.'
'So you help us, and we help you. Okay?'
'You help me? How can you help me out?'
'We know where your friends are.'
'Really...(skeptically)? Where?'
'I show you, you help us out.'
'Fine.'
They took me to the hotel room that Gopal had obtained with what he claimed was hand-outs from tourists. Who knows. Bibek was completely passed out, not of exhaustion, so I just kidnapped him and told Gopal I would be back the next day to talk to him. As I was carrying Bibek like a sack of potatoes from the first taxi that was trying to rip me off due to my unfortunate state of affairs of lugging around a passed out 11-year-old around with me to another taxi, Santosh, my personal guide for the street scene of Lakeside says to me, "You really love them don't you?"
'Uhhh... Yeah. A lot... You have no idea."
"Maybe you come back and help us too. Maybe help us with education?"
"Uhhhh.. maybe. I'll come by tomorrow. We'll talk."
I never saw these kids again, even as I would look for them as I walked around Lakeside. However, I would be lying to you if I told you that this encounter didn't initiate a period of strife and contemplation involving me considering completely foregoing or at least significantly postponing my return to America. I mean, to invest in a place, get to know the people, the people apparently become aware of you despite you not knowing them, and to just uproot and leave. Derye garo (very difficult).
Bibek recovered the next day. Arjun, Dorje and I cleaned him up. When he tried to leave in a huff back to Lakeside and discovered that his sandals were missing he started to get pretty agitated. He concluded that I stole his sandals, preventing him from leaving, and threw an impressive temper tantrum. The emotions outweighed the logic of me simply telling him, "You no have sandals when I took you last night," and the rant continued. Right at the moment when I had given up on dealing with the situation was when the older brother of the family walked in. And in the most calm, caring, firm manner imaginable calmed Bibek down and convinced him to stay the night (with the hope of just getting him back in his old routine of school the next day). I was awed at the timing and perfection of one stepping in to handle a situation when a former is at the end of his rope of energy and expertise, and that's all I have to say about that.
Emma writes in her blog about friends who tried to convince her to give up on some of the boys because of their tough words about using Emma as just another scam. After I heard Bibek say that at dinner that night I became quite angry out of my allegiance to Emma. I confess. I am one of those friends that tried to get her to consider just giving up on Bibek. Believe me, my logic was sound. If it's the streets that he wants so badly, and that lifestyle, then it is the streets that he'll get. I will not deprive them. After I shared my thoughts with Emma it was what she does best that drew me to a deeper light of knowledge and then reaffirm her path.
She knows. She just knows. She knows that everyone needs love. It is not a question for her, and that is one of her fundamental beliefs that leads her in the directions that she has taken. Her different projects, activities, protests, writings, relationships, everything that I can't even keep up with and just put under the title of Pamela, Inc. are not attempts to try and express what she is trying to believe in. All of Pamela, Inc. is a natural expression of what she does believe. Like really, genuinely, with full conviction and zero question, believe.
She knows Bibek needs love. More than the streets. She doesn't care about the aesthetic desire for the streets. She knows love is deeper. She knows Bibek is just acting tough. I just didn't want her to be duped, like I felt for a little bit that she was. I feared that she had been simply duped for the last three years, and figured that it's better to cut your losses early. But, she's not duped. Because she knows. She knows Bibek needs love, and doesn't have someone giving that to him. I don't know how she knows, but she does. Everyone. Even tough street kids. You, the one reading this, can't dupe even yourself out of your need for love despite the streets that we all personally run to when most desperate for it. And she knows that.
I almost forgot.
I did forget.
But, it's funny how when you're at the end of your rope in energy and expertise that someone steps in takes over the situation. In an earlier entry I mentioned how the kids lives are compiled together like a bad piece of furniture in an attempt to fill the needs most naturally filled by their parents. I want to retract my harsh, over-critical words. The furniture is not bad. It might have a blind spot, and it might be strangely compiled. But it is not bad. I have seen the furniture in full working form, and despite its strange construction, it holds. The leg is not the arm, and the arm is not the head, but the right parts function at the right times, and that is what counts.
When the older brother stepped in and took over the situation when my resources had become exhausted, and when Emma revealed her thoughts and beliefs to me over the phone (also found in her blog) I can also confess that thoughts of not only inadequacy but also envy of their ability was quick upon me. But I may not be the foot, and I may not be the head, but I'm learning that I don't need to be. Thank goodness. That'd be hard.
Pamela stepped in to do what she does best, and she has the boys back into close to working order. Of course there's the daily issues that rise without fail. Of course they're in a different place than one month ago, and that brings adjustment, but she's there. With them. Because they need her.
And she knows that.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Bangkok, Thailand
Fake out.
Not there.
Despite the fact I'm on a 4 day layover in LA, I will attempt to debrief the past however long since I last exported ideas.
Bangkok Thailand.
As I wrote to a friend earlier: "Apparently the party that has never quite made it to Nepal has gotten stuck in Bangkok." The only idea I had about Bangkok before I went was from the film "The Beach" with Leonardo DiCaprio. One of the first scenes just shows him walking amongst crowds in awe of excitement from all the neon lights and activity going on all around him. It was kind of like that. So I went to the beach.
Koh Chang island. 7 hour bus ride from Bangkok and a half-hour ferry. After talking with numerous travelers I decided this was the one, because it's the most laid back. I was a little over-idealistic about finding an on-the-beach bungalow for a dirt cheap price, because it turns out you get what you pay for. Off the beach you could find one for about $3.5 US. On the beach was starting at about $15 US. Yikers. However, yours truly came through in the pinch when he found a place that had opened only 4 days prior that rented tents on the beach for just under $5 US. No brainer. It was away from all the hype, I had my own beach, and most of the time I was the only one staying there.
For those that want to live on the beach, you should make like the owner of the place, Irish Phil, and just settle down in Thailand. 2 reasons:
-Beach
-Food
I don't know if you know anything about Thai food, but if you don't, please visit your local Thai food restaurant. That should help solve all mysteries surrounding where you can find the best food in Asia. If you prize surfing over food you might consider another country, such as Indonesia, but barring that you probably needn't look further.
I woke up in the morning and watched the sun rise to my left. 12 hours later I would watch the sun set to my right. Amazing. That's what happens when your beach is on the south end of the island, and it's winter where the sun has less range of motion. Or whatever you call it, but I think you get the idea.
Minus a small dabochle on a rented motorbike the second day where I found out the tires weren't quite as sticky as I was counting on, on a curve in the hills, it was completely fantastic. I only had to bear stingy saltwater on my wounds as part of the consequence and deal with the hassle of cleaning and preventing infection. Which I think we safely averted, despite not having an up-to-date immune system on the local scene. But now I think that I can safely say that I'll always carry a piece of Thailand with me. Part of the road that is. In my knee.
The time was much needed. I just walked around my beaches all day, didn't have a phone, and got to debrief the last 4.5 months of my life in Asia. Especially after everything that went down with the 6 boys right before I left. Details at restoredyouth.blogspot.com. and more comments on that to follow. by comments i mean another post.
All to say. I enjoyed the beach. It was about 90 degrees every day. I only brought 2 t-shirts, my shorts, and a book. What more do you need? I have found that ever since I finalized my return trip home from Nepal more than a month ago, there was a definitive pull for life back home. I would not become a resident of Asia. Which is fine. It's funny because within one minute the thoughts can go from longing for home, to looking around you and already missing your current temp-home, and then planning for where you'll go next, which I have some pretty tasty thoughts cooked up on.
But now I'm approaching home. After I finish my 4 day layover in California I will be back in my old stomping grounds enjoying everything that I really love about where I'm from. Especially in the winter. I just realized that I get back the first day of winter. That's appropriate. Now, more finalized thoughts to follow...
Not there.
Despite the fact I'm on a 4 day layover in LA, I will attempt to debrief the past however long since I last exported ideas.
Bangkok Thailand.
As I wrote to a friend earlier: "Apparently the party that has never quite made it to Nepal has gotten stuck in Bangkok." The only idea I had about Bangkok before I went was from the film "The Beach" with Leonardo DiCaprio. One of the first scenes just shows him walking amongst crowds in awe of excitement from all the neon lights and activity going on all around him. It was kind of like that. So I went to the beach.
Koh Chang island. 7 hour bus ride from Bangkok and a half-hour ferry. After talking with numerous travelers I decided this was the one, because it's the most laid back. I was a little over-idealistic about finding an on-the-beach bungalow for a dirt cheap price, because it turns out you get what you pay for. Off the beach you could find one for about $3.5 US. On the beach was starting at about $15 US. Yikers. However, yours truly came through in the pinch when he found a place that had opened only 4 days prior that rented tents on the beach for just under $5 US. No brainer. It was away from all the hype, I had my own beach, and most of the time I was the only one staying there.
For those that want to live on the beach, you should make like the owner of the place, Irish Phil, and just settle down in Thailand. 2 reasons:
-Beach
-Food
I don't know if you know anything about Thai food, but if you don't, please visit your local Thai food restaurant. That should help solve all mysteries surrounding where you can find the best food in Asia. If you prize surfing over food you might consider another country, such as Indonesia, but barring that you probably needn't look further.
I woke up in the morning and watched the sun rise to my left. 12 hours later I would watch the sun set to my right. Amazing. That's what happens when your beach is on the south end of the island, and it's winter where the sun has less range of motion. Or whatever you call it, but I think you get the idea.
Minus a small dabochle on a rented motorbike the second day where I found out the tires weren't quite as sticky as I was counting on, on a curve in the hills, it was completely fantastic. I only had to bear stingy saltwater on my wounds as part of the consequence and deal with the hassle of cleaning and preventing infection. Which I think we safely averted, despite not having an up-to-date immune system on the local scene. But now I think that I can safely say that I'll always carry a piece of Thailand with me. Part of the road that is. In my knee.
The time was much needed. I just walked around my beaches all day, didn't have a phone, and got to debrief the last 4.5 months of my life in Asia. Especially after everything that went down with the 6 boys right before I left. Details at restoredyouth.blogspot.com. and more comments on that to follow. by comments i mean another post.
All to say. I enjoyed the beach. It was about 90 degrees every day. I only brought 2 t-shirts, my shorts, and a book. What more do you need? I have found that ever since I finalized my return trip home from Nepal more than a month ago, there was a definitive pull for life back home. I would not become a resident of Asia. Which is fine. It's funny because within one minute the thoughts can go from longing for home, to looking around you and already missing your current temp-home, and then planning for where you'll go next, which I have some pretty tasty thoughts cooked up on.
But now I'm approaching home. After I finish my 4 day layover in California I will be back in my old stomping grounds enjoying everything that I really love about where I'm from. Especially in the winter. I just realized that I get back the first day of winter. That's appropriate. Now, more finalized thoughts to follow...
Sunday, December 2, 2007
pokhara, nepal
The brief hiatus I took to tromp around the Kumbu region (made famously by the Great One, Mt. Everest) was completely amazing, and an exceptionally good holiday. For 20 days I hiked around, visited high lakes for lunches, summitted Himalayan 'hills' (fair enough, my highest hill was 5,887 meters / 19,261 ft), hiked over hairy passes and just in general viewed what can surely be claimed as the most beautiful mountains in the world.
And you know how much I like mountains. It even snowed one morning.
But today I write with a very heavy heart. The world is apparently not all cakes and ice cream.
I came back to Pokhara not knowing what to expect after receiving a very undetailed, ominous email from Pamela / Emma about the 6 boys. Bear in mind that when I was leaving for Everest my prime concern was finding them an older male who could just be in their life similar to how I have but wouldn't have to leave because of visas, wanting to go home, etc. Essentially, a reliable older male who could teach them values and be in their life continually. My other concern was simply that they do their homework.
And this is what I found.
I will explain in order of each boy.
Tall Saroj claims he wants to go back to his village to take care of his family. I don't believe this quite yet. At least I don't think he wants to right now. Unfortunately, being what is usually the most responsible of the 6 boys he is, perhaps, the least cool and therefore the most needy of friends. I fear that his recent friendships he has made have more than started to lead him down sketchy paths. I have been very uncontrolling with managing where they go at night, as that is more than just an uphill battle, and have merely had strong conversations with them about the importance of who you hang out with having a strong impact on your life. So, that decision is his. I believe that at the end of the day he is trading his home, food, and school for the ability to hang out with these sketchy friends. Like I said, he has a record of being the most responsible, but at the same time, he's a 14-year-old boy. Pamela has been able to manage their finances, their food, their education, and even a pseudo-father figure to be in their life, but how do you manage peers that offer acceptance? And the fact that that one element being the strongest force in their life is mind-boggling, frustrating, and just plain baffling.
Gopal decided that he didn't like the school they were going to, and in usual form at least semi-convinced all the other boys that they should find a Nepali school. I woke him up yesterday at noon at the Busy Bee where was sleeping and has found work. The Busy Bee is probably the most popular tourist bar in Pokhara, where he now sells plane tickets from what I have gathered. To be honest, if he is supporting himself (or has found his own means for support) I respect that and his choice. He seems to be doing well. However, he is always the driver of the bandwagon, and his demands towards a better school have left a ripple effect of independent-thinking/ leaving on the other kids. And he's not even going to Nepali school. Which is free. Frustrating.
San Saroj is back to being the typical street kid. As the dullest out of all of them, I don't think he can think past what he simply knew before of walking around and offering tourists cheap hash. Heartbreaking. A really sweet kid, but needs so much love and encouragement and structure and I'm afraid the streets don't really have a track record for offering those commodities in abundance.
Bibek I have also heard is on the streets. I heard that he is around Lakeside, and I heard that he is there because he doesn't like taking tests. He's quite smart, and even gets good grades. Remember when you complained about homework, and at the most maybe threw a temper tantrum in response? Escaping to the streets of a city probably didn't really cross your mind as a potentially good idea. Especially at the age of 11. Well, welcome to their lives.
Arjun and Dorje from what i can tell wish to remain under room and board and go to school. They are after all, the most naturally intelligent. I really believe it was a matter of time for a couple of the rest, but for these, they see this genuinely as their best opportunity. There's not much more they can bear as their resources have been altered to adjust for the others leaving. So my goal for them is just to offer some stability for a few days, until their normal accomodations become, well, normal, again. Today I asked them why they wanted to go to school and not run away and they just said, "We like to read." Somehow I don't fully buy it, there's some truth in it I'm sure, but I think they understand what they have as being pretty good. I don't know.
To say that my heart was quite heavy this morning was an understatement. To have an almost parting chat with Tall Saroj essentially telling him that I don't care what he does, whether it's study English or make cabinets, that the measure of a man is determined on the choices one makes every day, was more than I anticipated after having left for only three weeks. That's all I have to offer this kid who is deciding a path affecting the rest of his life, possibly heavily influenced by shady friends. Such a good, solid, respectful kid who took care of the rest of the six guys for years might be throwing it all away for the sake of some acceptance. He was often the only one to respect me and my words. But, welcome to 14-years-old. I will not attempt to force these kids into any situation. I will not even offer my opinion. All I am attempting is to show them clearly what decisions they have, what their affect will be, and what is affecting their decisions. So hard to watch them go--
It's funny that regarding the one that found work at the Busy Bee, Gopal, I just hope he does well. I guess I just see a step in maturity and taking accountability for his own life out of him. I don't think school was fully for him, but I just hopes he finds a place of being amongst good people. And makes an honest living. Can you imagine, at 14, choosing to engage in wage-earning from school? Yet, for some of them, it's vying as the best option.
We'll see where it goes from here. On one hand, it's hard to see all this happen right before I leave, but at the same time, if it was going to happen, I'm glad I was here to be there with them through it. Sometimes you just hit a breaking point I guess, and so many of the natural elements that naturally occur in most people's lives have been merely pieced together like a bad piece of furniture for these kids lives. Things like love, support (financial and emotional), consistency, education, all from different, random sources that can only offer a little bit for a little time, all attempting to fill the holes left by those who would most naturally offer it and were most not able to. I have learned that we're all doing the best we can, but I'm also learning about the reality of the world being a harsh, cruel place.
Okay, I'm going to go hunt down Gopal and have an adult chat with him over some chow mein. Since he's entered the adult world now.
And then try to find Bibek.
And you know how much I like mountains. It even snowed one morning.
But today I write with a very heavy heart. The world is apparently not all cakes and ice cream.
I came back to Pokhara not knowing what to expect after receiving a very undetailed, ominous email from Pamela / Emma about the 6 boys. Bear in mind that when I was leaving for Everest my prime concern was finding them an older male who could just be in their life similar to how I have but wouldn't have to leave because of visas, wanting to go home, etc. Essentially, a reliable older male who could teach them values and be in their life continually. My other concern was simply that they do their homework.
And this is what I found.
I will explain in order of each boy.
Tall Saroj claims he wants to go back to his village to take care of his family. I don't believe this quite yet. At least I don't think he wants to right now. Unfortunately, being what is usually the most responsible of the 6 boys he is, perhaps, the least cool and therefore the most needy of friends. I fear that his recent friendships he has made have more than started to lead him down sketchy paths. I have been very uncontrolling with managing where they go at night, as that is more than just an uphill battle, and have merely had strong conversations with them about the importance of who you hang out with having a strong impact on your life. So, that decision is his. I believe that at the end of the day he is trading his home, food, and school for the ability to hang out with these sketchy friends. Like I said, he has a record of being the most responsible, but at the same time, he's a 14-year-old boy. Pamela has been able to manage their finances, their food, their education, and even a pseudo-father figure to be in their life, but how do you manage peers that offer acceptance? And the fact that that one element being the strongest force in their life is mind-boggling, frustrating, and just plain baffling.
Gopal decided that he didn't like the school they were going to, and in usual form at least semi-convinced all the other boys that they should find a Nepali school. I woke him up yesterday at noon at the Busy Bee where was sleeping and has found work. The Busy Bee is probably the most popular tourist bar in Pokhara, where he now sells plane tickets from what I have gathered. To be honest, if he is supporting himself (or has found his own means for support) I respect that and his choice. He seems to be doing well. However, he is always the driver of the bandwagon, and his demands towards a better school have left a ripple effect of independent-thinking/ leaving on the other kids. And he's not even going to Nepali school. Which is free. Frustrating.
San Saroj is back to being the typical street kid. As the dullest out of all of them, I don't think he can think past what he simply knew before of walking around and offering tourists cheap hash. Heartbreaking. A really sweet kid, but needs so much love and encouragement and structure and I'm afraid the streets don't really have a track record for offering those commodities in abundance.
Bibek I have also heard is on the streets. I heard that he is around Lakeside, and I heard that he is there because he doesn't like taking tests. He's quite smart, and even gets good grades. Remember when you complained about homework, and at the most maybe threw a temper tantrum in response? Escaping to the streets of a city probably didn't really cross your mind as a potentially good idea. Especially at the age of 11. Well, welcome to their lives.
Arjun and Dorje from what i can tell wish to remain under room and board and go to school. They are after all, the most naturally intelligent. I really believe it was a matter of time for a couple of the rest, but for these, they see this genuinely as their best opportunity. There's not much more they can bear as their resources have been altered to adjust for the others leaving. So my goal for them is just to offer some stability for a few days, until their normal accomodations become, well, normal, again. Today I asked them why they wanted to go to school and not run away and they just said, "We like to read." Somehow I don't fully buy it, there's some truth in it I'm sure, but I think they understand what they have as being pretty good. I don't know.
To say that my heart was quite heavy this morning was an understatement. To have an almost parting chat with Tall Saroj essentially telling him that I don't care what he does, whether it's study English or make cabinets, that the measure of a man is determined on the choices one makes every day, was more than I anticipated after having left for only three weeks. That's all I have to offer this kid who is deciding a path affecting the rest of his life, possibly heavily influenced by shady friends. Such a good, solid, respectful kid who took care of the rest of the six guys for years might be throwing it all away for the sake of some acceptance. He was often the only one to respect me and my words. But, welcome to 14-years-old. I will not attempt to force these kids into any situation. I will not even offer my opinion. All I am attempting is to show them clearly what decisions they have, what their affect will be, and what is affecting their decisions. So hard to watch them go--
It's funny that regarding the one that found work at the Busy Bee, Gopal, I just hope he does well. I guess I just see a step in maturity and taking accountability for his own life out of him. I don't think school was fully for him, but I just hopes he finds a place of being amongst good people. And makes an honest living. Can you imagine, at 14, choosing to engage in wage-earning from school? Yet, for some of them, it's vying as the best option.
We'll see where it goes from here. On one hand, it's hard to see all this happen right before I leave, but at the same time, if it was going to happen, I'm glad I was here to be there with them through it. Sometimes you just hit a breaking point I guess, and so many of the natural elements that naturally occur in most people's lives have been merely pieced together like a bad piece of furniture for these kids lives. Things like love, support (financial and emotional), consistency, education, all from different, random sources that can only offer a little bit for a little time, all attempting to fill the holes left by those who would most naturally offer it and were most not able to. I have learned that we're all doing the best we can, but I'm also learning about the reality of the world being a harsh, cruel place.
Okay, I'm going to go hunt down Gopal and have an adult chat with him over some chow mein. Since he's entered the adult world now.
And then try to find Bibek.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
astam, nepal
kancha coming at you---
Apparently that's my Nepali name. It is actually a common name meaning "small brother." Everyone here refers to each other as Dai (older brother) Bai (younger brother), Didi (older sister) and Bahini (younger sister), but because you can have several Dai's Bai's etc. Kancha gets at least a little more specific (referring to size). It was given to me by the Austrian couple's trekking guide somewhere between Machhapuchare base camp and Annapurna base camp. but i digress.
So, while on one hand I was sad to miss Halloween and all the kids who will succumb to wearing ridiculous clothes as long as they get candy (Seinfeld), I was able to celebrate the fall harvest festival not just Nepali style (mind you they don't actually celebrate it here), but with its semi-original intent (I think, correct me if I'm wrong though). I harvested.
This took place in the village of Astam where the Indian's (dot not the feather) trekking guide that I met on my trek lived. It involved a half hour bus ride out of Pokhara, and an hour hike, nearly straight uphill it seemed. Since he wasn't with me, and I just knew his village name, once I got to the village I just started asking everyone for "Shiva, tulo kapal (long hair), trekking guide" and eventually found his family's abode. His house and village sit atop a Himal with incredible views. The first day we just chilled, and day two involved gathering all their cut hay in their field, packing it up with rope made on the spot from the hay, and then carrying it down from their field to their house. I really enjoyed the work and helping out, and actually living the reality of their life if only for a couple of days. Here's the good/bad of the situation-
Recently I became a little disenchanted about living in the city of Pokhara. I mean, just for your personal perspective Kathmandu is Denver, and Pokhara is Boulder. Kat- Dallas, Pok- Austin. Comprende? So Pokhara being slower and more laid back is muy bueno for me, but after a conversation with a Polish and a German gal who work for the UN I started seeing a different shade of green in the grass. Their work consisted of living in a rural village and communicating what the UN wanted to communicate to the people of Nepal. Namely regarding the politics of Nepal, and to then encourage their action, that being voting. After this conversation and hearing about their daily life I was like, "I came to a third world country, but I still live where internet and taxis are still accessible. I wonder what it's like out there." Well I found it.
There's no cars, some people may not have even seen them before, although most have. Everything is transported by foot (ps- apparently 70% of goods are transported by foot in Nepal [porters]), and it's the life a farmer. Their house is one room essentially, with the loft used for storage. The father, mother, son, daughter, daughter's daughter, another son's daughter and son all sleep in the same room/ house. They cook food over a single wood fire. But, no Shiner, so it's not a proper barbeque. They grow their own rice, have their own buffaloes, chickens, etc. Everyone is nearly related. Almost no one has income. Where there is income, the average pay is probably $5 a day. It's all asset based. You feed yourself, maybe trade; there is some currency flowing through, but not much. The people are happy, everyone obviously knows everyone (since they're related), and you just do things as you can and as they come. There's no rush, but if you don't work it's very obvious you don't eat. Children are labor. Kancha II carried his first packaged bundle of hay on his head as all Nepalis do. He's probably 8. Everyone was helping with the harvest, young to old.
Here's the rub. I saw them getting along fine, I mean, poor, but fine. I enjoyed staying with them. People is people to me. We all smile and we all cry. But, like many Nepalis they see me as opportunity. The list of things requested from me in this 2 days is endless: money to paint their house, money to finish building their toilet (outhouse), to somehow get Shiva a visa and plane trip to America(!) (they're all convinced that life is a beach party there), to take the 8 year-old to America with me, or at least to Pokhara(!), new school bags, to teach in their local school, to stay longer to as an extra working hand, and I kid you not, there was even insinuation to take their 25-year-old widowed daughter's hand in marriage (with a 3-year-old daughter as part of the package deal). I don't know, she was beautiful... and I have contemplated living a simple farming life...
This is not a request, nor a statement towards my new found direction in life (for those that can't discern my sarcasm via written word). This is just information. All of these things were mentioned at least more than twice. Of course each time it made me feel a little awkward, and I have been in Nepal long enough to see it coming, but not this strong. The reason I tell you is just to tell you of the condition. I'm quite sure this is quite a typical Nepali family. It's funny how I wanted to see it, but part of the 2-day experience was frustration of being asked for so much. At the very end, when the proposals were strong, all I could say was "I really do have to go, I genuninely don't have the means to help you, I wish I did," and leave. Several times when I was staying with them I would hear them ask in Nepali to the guide, Shiva, "Is he going to give us money?" 'I'm a simple guy, and I want to hang out with you, but this really makes it hard for me-' is what I would have liked to say. Throw a huge language barrier into the picture (Shiva's English is far below par, and I've only been here like 6 weeks), and getting a whole idea across was quite difficult. That being- "I can't help you renovate your whole house and revolutionize your community and bring stability and additional workforce to your family by marrying your daughter, but if Shiva is able to scrape up about $3000US(!) to come to America I will make him feel as at home as you have made me feel." Somehow I wasn't able to say that in Nepali.
I'm going to be honest. I was a bit bemused walking away. I mean, the children were clinging to me. Not out of love, but out of opportunity. The more I walked away the stronger and smaller the requests became. Finally I gave in when the daughter I'm supposed to marry (dad- I think maybe we can get a couple buffalo and maybe a goat or two out of the deal) asked for 20 rupees (about 35cents) for biscuits for her child. Walking back down the mountain I had to stop several times just to be like, "is this selfish? should i go back and pour out my wallet to them?" And, just resorted to getting back to my room in Pokhara to try and sort out my heart and mind. If any of you ever figure this dilemma in life out, shoot me a text to tell me what's up.
More honesty- part of the dilemma is that I didn't see it as bad. It's life. They're not starving, and they're government's not perfect but it's not oppressive. It's just very much not able to help anyone. You sow your seeds, you reap them, you eat. Sure we've complicated things with our intricate social infrastructure in America, and I'm not growing my own corn, but is it really any different? I mean, we're all just trying to live, we're all struggling. We all spend money on frivolity (they had a tv and dvd player- 2 things I don't own). The first day I told Shiva that people where I come from would pay a lot of money to live where he lived and be that removed from distraction. I mean, there are some people that even have to live in Houston. About 3 million I think. These Nepalis are very in tune with the earth's cycles and respond accordingly, I think that's beautiful and that we've lost a lot of that in our concrete jungles. They are very well alive, and moreso, have all of their friends and family around them. But, my friends, I guess they're not content. And at the end of the day, I don't care who you are, or where you were born, or what you do, that's what you need.
There's always more that I will desire I'm sure. For now, if anyone's looking to get rid of a set of tele gear or a Jeep, I think I can help you out. But, that's not reality right now. Now, let's be more honest, tele gear isn't exactly indoor plumbing, but I guess my simple point is that there's always more, I don't care who you are. I'm not flashy with my money- I haven't even worn my steezy Nixon watch once in Nepal (partly because Tony Hawk's voice chiming for the hour drains the battery in about a one-week-flash), and I just about can't afford all the batteries required. My camera is the most valuable things I may be seen with, and that's rare that I'll bring it into the open. But I'm a tourist, and tourists mean money. Yes, my budget here is right around what the average person makes a day, but that's that. I still take the bus and not taxis, and drink tea and not fruity expensive drinks. One thing I tell so many Nepali people that actually lend an ear is that, "you think America perfect. America have many problems. Nepal have many problems. Same. Same. People struggle for food in America, I promise." While I know that life is seemingly easier in America, all I want people everywhere to see is that we're all people. We all struggle, we all claim victory, we all have the capacity to love or to hate, to help or to hurt, and one of the most beautiful gifts we have is the gift of choice based on those aforementioned. And it is our choices based on the cards we are dealt that makes life what it is. Yes, I may have access to health insurance, but does that really make the days I own more fulfilling?
I need to stop ranting. All this word vomit just means I haven't figured it out in case you didn't already realize that. All this from 2 days in one of the most beautiful places I have ever woken up to, confronted by one of the most difficult situations I have ever woken up to. But guess what? That's life.
Apparently that's my Nepali name. It is actually a common name meaning "small brother." Everyone here refers to each other as Dai (older brother) Bai (younger brother), Didi (older sister) and Bahini (younger sister), but because you can have several Dai's Bai's etc. Kancha gets at least a little more specific (referring to size). It was given to me by the Austrian couple's trekking guide somewhere between Machhapuchare base camp and Annapurna base camp. but i digress.
So, while on one hand I was sad to miss Halloween and all the kids who will succumb to wearing ridiculous clothes as long as they get candy (Seinfeld), I was able to celebrate the fall harvest festival not just Nepali style (mind you they don't actually celebrate it here), but with its semi-original intent (I think, correct me if I'm wrong though). I harvested.
This took place in the village of Astam where the Indian's (dot not the feather) trekking guide that I met on my trek lived. It involved a half hour bus ride out of Pokhara, and an hour hike, nearly straight uphill it seemed. Since he wasn't with me, and I just knew his village name, once I got to the village I just started asking everyone for "Shiva, tulo kapal (long hair), trekking guide" and eventually found his family's abode. His house and village sit atop a Himal with incredible views. The first day we just chilled, and day two involved gathering all their cut hay in their field, packing it up with rope made on the spot from the hay, and then carrying it down from their field to their house. I really enjoyed the work and helping out, and actually living the reality of their life if only for a couple of days. Here's the good/bad of the situation-
Recently I became a little disenchanted about living in the city of Pokhara. I mean, just for your personal perspective Kathmandu is Denver, and Pokhara is Boulder. Kat- Dallas, Pok- Austin. Comprende? So Pokhara being slower and more laid back is muy bueno for me, but after a conversation with a Polish and a German gal who work for the UN I started seeing a different shade of green in the grass. Their work consisted of living in a rural village and communicating what the UN wanted to communicate to the people of Nepal. Namely regarding the politics of Nepal, and to then encourage their action, that being voting. After this conversation and hearing about their daily life I was like, "I came to a third world country, but I still live where internet and taxis are still accessible. I wonder what it's like out there." Well I found it.
There's no cars, some people may not have even seen them before, although most have. Everything is transported by foot (ps- apparently 70% of goods are transported by foot in Nepal [porters]), and it's the life a farmer. Their house is one room essentially, with the loft used for storage. The father, mother, son, daughter, daughter's daughter, another son's daughter and son all sleep in the same room/ house. They cook food over a single wood fire. But, no Shiner, so it's not a proper barbeque. They grow their own rice, have their own buffaloes, chickens, etc. Everyone is nearly related. Almost no one has income. Where there is income, the average pay is probably $5 a day. It's all asset based. You feed yourself, maybe trade; there is some currency flowing through, but not much. The people are happy, everyone obviously knows everyone (since they're related), and you just do things as you can and as they come. There's no rush, but if you don't work it's very obvious you don't eat. Children are labor. Kancha II carried his first packaged bundle of hay on his head as all Nepalis do. He's probably 8. Everyone was helping with the harvest, young to old.
Here's the rub. I saw them getting along fine, I mean, poor, but fine. I enjoyed staying with them. People is people to me. We all smile and we all cry. But, like many Nepalis they see me as opportunity. The list of things requested from me in this 2 days is endless: money to paint their house, money to finish building their toilet (outhouse), to somehow get Shiva a visa and plane trip to America(!) (they're all convinced that life is a beach party there), to take the 8 year-old to America with me, or at least to Pokhara(!), new school bags, to teach in their local school, to stay longer to as an extra working hand, and I kid you not, there was even insinuation to take their 25-year-old widowed daughter's hand in marriage (with a 3-year-old daughter as part of the package deal). I don't know, she was beautiful... and I have contemplated living a simple farming life...
This is not a request, nor a statement towards my new found direction in life (for those that can't discern my sarcasm via written word). This is just information. All of these things were mentioned at least more than twice. Of course each time it made me feel a little awkward, and I have been in Nepal long enough to see it coming, but not this strong. The reason I tell you is just to tell you of the condition. I'm quite sure this is quite a typical Nepali family. It's funny how I wanted to see it, but part of the 2-day experience was frustration of being asked for so much. At the very end, when the proposals were strong, all I could say was "I really do have to go, I genuninely don't have the means to help you, I wish I did," and leave. Several times when I was staying with them I would hear them ask in Nepali to the guide, Shiva, "Is he going to give us money?" 'I'm a simple guy, and I want to hang out with you, but this really makes it hard for me-' is what I would have liked to say. Throw a huge language barrier into the picture (Shiva's English is far below par, and I've only been here like 6 weeks), and getting a whole idea across was quite difficult. That being- "I can't help you renovate your whole house and revolutionize your community and bring stability and additional workforce to your family by marrying your daughter, but if Shiva is able to scrape up about $3000US(!) to come to America I will make him feel as at home as you have made me feel." Somehow I wasn't able to say that in Nepali.
I'm going to be honest. I was a bit bemused walking away. I mean, the children were clinging to me. Not out of love, but out of opportunity. The more I walked away the stronger and smaller the requests became. Finally I gave in when the daughter I'm supposed to marry (dad- I think maybe we can get a couple buffalo and maybe a goat or two out of the deal) asked for 20 rupees (about 35cents) for biscuits for her child. Walking back down the mountain I had to stop several times just to be like, "is this selfish? should i go back and pour out my wallet to them?" And, just resorted to getting back to my room in Pokhara to try and sort out my heart and mind. If any of you ever figure this dilemma in life out, shoot me a text to tell me what's up.
More honesty- part of the dilemma is that I didn't see it as bad. It's life. They're not starving, and they're government's not perfect but it's not oppressive. It's just very much not able to help anyone. You sow your seeds, you reap them, you eat. Sure we've complicated things with our intricate social infrastructure in America, and I'm not growing my own corn, but is it really any different? I mean, we're all just trying to live, we're all struggling. We all spend money on frivolity (they had a tv and dvd player- 2 things I don't own). The first day I told Shiva that people where I come from would pay a lot of money to live where he lived and be that removed from distraction. I mean, there are some people that even have to live in Houston. About 3 million I think. These Nepalis are very in tune with the earth's cycles and respond accordingly, I think that's beautiful and that we've lost a lot of that in our concrete jungles. They are very well alive, and moreso, have all of their friends and family around them. But, my friends, I guess they're not content. And at the end of the day, I don't care who you are, or where you were born, or what you do, that's what you need.
There's always more that I will desire I'm sure. For now, if anyone's looking to get rid of a set of tele gear or a Jeep, I think I can help you out. But, that's not reality right now. Now, let's be more honest, tele gear isn't exactly indoor plumbing, but I guess my simple point is that there's always more, I don't care who you are. I'm not flashy with my money- I haven't even worn my steezy Nixon watch once in Nepal (partly because Tony Hawk's voice chiming for the hour drains the battery in about a one-week-flash), and I just about can't afford all the batteries required. My camera is the most valuable things I may be seen with, and that's rare that I'll bring it into the open. But I'm a tourist, and tourists mean money. Yes, my budget here is right around what the average person makes a day, but that's that. I still take the bus and not taxis, and drink tea and not fruity expensive drinks. One thing I tell so many Nepali people that actually lend an ear is that, "you think America perfect. America have many problems. Nepal have many problems. Same. Same. People struggle for food in America, I promise." While I know that life is seemingly easier in America, all I want people everywhere to see is that we're all people. We all struggle, we all claim victory, we all have the capacity to love or to hate, to help or to hurt, and one of the most beautiful gifts we have is the gift of choice based on those aforementioned. And it is our choices based on the cards we are dealt that makes life what it is. Yes, I may have access to health insurance, but does that really make the days I own more fulfilling?
I need to stop ranting. All this word vomit just means I haven't figured it out in case you didn't already realize that. All this from 2 days in one of the most beautiful places I have ever woken up to, confronted by one of the most difficult situations I have ever woken up to. But guess what? That's life.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
pokhara, nepal
hello friends.
i wish i could fully explain how happy the mountains make me. some of you are clued into this. let me try to offer you the highlight- i woke up at 5:00am (an hour later than hoped) to watch the remainder of the forecasted meteor shower. I walked outside my room of the teahouse I was staying at situated at the base camp of Mount Annapurna (South and I, there's actually 5 of them) at roughly 14,000 ft. altitude. After watching about one meteor a minute on a perfectly clear night, the sun started to rise. What this means in the Himalayas is that the tops of the mountains are seemingly lit on fire with what only the Germans have found an appropriate name for, "alpenglow." Maybe the Austrians said it first, that would make more sense.
I got my morning cup of coffee and had one of the most spectacular surveys of the world ever, in a valley surrounded by 20,000m+ peaks standing on fresh snow from the night before. I love snow.
Snow. Mountains. I was the last person to leave the base camp and head back down I'm pretty sure. All the other people I guess were in a rush to head back down to reality and pollution. Once the clouds rolled in, I decided it was a good time to jet and we made our way down mountains that US wise most closely resemble the Smoky Mountains. So, in one day you can walk from a height higher than any of the Rockies in Colorado, to an environment only found in southern mountains verging on tropical. Amazing.
When I say, "we" I mean I was joined by one of the little homies I'm taking care of, Soraj. He was the only of the 6 that did not want to visit his home for the holiday season we're in right now, so I took him trekking instead. Here's the problem with Nepalis and the mountains. They're really good at it, but they see no point. They think goras (white people) are stupid for trekking, and can't understand why we do it, because if they walk in the mountains it's because they have to (either work or transportation). But, Soraj did amazingly well and had a great attitude. And, I'm pretty sure that he's now the only Pokhara city kid that knows how to read a topographical map. Which I assure was a struggle each morning as he didn't even have a grasp on the concept of altitude or direction. But, now, he can manage a topo map. Hooray. Success.
Moreso, since I don't know when I'll get to write next I'll go ahead and indulge on this: I have discovered that looking after 6 teenage boys who are essentially orphaned (by their own choice, mainly avoiding not-good family situations) that have grown up on the street isn't exactly Candyland or Chutes and Ladders. If anything it's like playing Risk with the really crafty manipulative friend that we all have. I want to say "unfortunately," but really it's just the reality of the situation that the role I have to fill has been about 90% discipline. Maybe my standards are too high. My standards that I hold in their life in any encounter we have are as follows:
1.don't lie
2.don't steal
3.do your homework
This consumes over 90% of my time with them as I have already mentioned. Here's more of the issue. They have roughly 546 mothers around them. The women who pay their school, their teachers, their cook-lady. But not one dude. Except yours truly. They are fed, schooled, and taken care of, but apparently, not consistenly held accountable or challenged. Yikers. This is not what I had in mind, but kay gar ni (what do do)? The really frustrating part is that I'm attempting to fill a role in their life left not only void, but with negative impact, roughly 14 years too late. Add in the enjoyable surge of hormones of a teenager and it leads to a pretty interesting mezcla of issues.
I have hesitated to post this, since I didn't want to 1.sound like I'm complaining 2. make the kids look bad in any way, but I figure only the people who really care are looking at this anyway. It's tough, but good. Everyday is a new issue with a new kid. I suppose every given day some issue arises birthed of of simply those three standards above that I hold. Homework is the most annoying one I have to deal with, probably because I wasn't exactly the homework king in my day. But, I never scored 0 out of 20 on a math exam which is why I started holding that standard for them. But I digress.
Believe me. I am wide eyed looking for a person who can fill my role after I leave. Basically a loving, consistent, male who is smarter and stronger than them who can teach and encourage them. This is my dilemma. This is why I haven't decided when I'm coming home. Because all this work I am doing now will easily vanish without the void being replaced. I look at all the Nepali guys I see around, and zero feasible candidates have been presented. It's a bit frustrating. ps- I have barely even tapped into the issues I have hoped to tap into with young males, as I'm still trying to clear the basics that are wiped out at the age of 4.
So, there you have it. There's the reality of the situation. But the thing that keeps me going is realizing that the amount of energy and frustration and effort I am forced to put into these kids is simply the balance of the amount that they need it, and haven't received it. Believe me, somedays a quick flight home is really attractive, but in the long run, it just seems to keep getting delayed.
I'll keep you posted. but now you know.
i wish i could fully explain how happy the mountains make me. some of you are clued into this. let me try to offer you the highlight- i woke up at 5:00am (an hour later than hoped) to watch the remainder of the forecasted meteor shower. I walked outside my room of the teahouse I was staying at situated at the base camp of Mount Annapurna (South and I, there's actually 5 of them) at roughly 14,000 ft. altitude. After watching about one meteor a minute on a perfectly clear night, the sun started to rise. What this means in the Himalayas is that the tops of the mountains are seemingly lit on fire with what only the Germans have found an appropriate name for, "alpenglow." Maybe the Austrians said it first, that would make more sense.
I got my morning cup of coffee and had one of the most spectacular surveys of the world ever, in a valley surrounded by 20,000m+ peaks standing on fresh snow from the night before. I love snow.
Snow. Mountains. I was the last person to leave the base camp and head back down I'm pretty sure. All the other people I guess were in a rush to head back down to reality and pollution. Once the clouds rolled in, I decided it was a good time to jet and we made our way down mountains that US wise most closely resemble the Smoky Mountains. So, in one day you can walk from a height higher than any of the Rockies in Colorado, to an environment only found in southern mountains verging on tropical. Amazing.
When I say, "we" I mean I was joined by one of the little homies I'm taking care of, Soraj. He was the only of the 6 that did not want to visit his home for the holiday season we're in right now, so I took him trekking instead. Here's the problem with Nepalis and the mountains. They're really good at it, but they see no point. They think goras (white people) are stupid for trekking, and can't understand why we do it, because if they walk in the mountains it's because they have to (either work or transportation). But, Soraj did amazingly well and had a great attitude. And, I'm pretty sure that he's now the only Pokhara city kid that knows how to read a topographical map. Which I assure was a struggle each morning as he didn't even have a grasp on the concept of altitude or direction. But, now, he can manage a topo map. Hooray. Success.
Moreso, since I don't know when I'll get to write next I'll go ahead and indulge on this: I have discovered that looking after 6 teenage boys who are essentially orphaned (by their own choice, mainly avoiding not-good family situations) that have grown up on the street isn't exactly Candyland or Chutes and Ladders. If anything it's like playing Risk with the really crafty manipulative friend that we all have. I want to say "unfortunately," but really it's just the reality of the situation that the role I have to fill has been about 90% discipline. Maybe my standards are too high. My standards that I hold in their life in any encounter we have are as follows:
1.don't lie
2.don't steal
3.do your homework
This consumes over 90% of my time with them as I have already mentioned. Here's more of the issue. They have roughly 546 mothers around them. The women who pay their school, their teachers, their cook-lady. But not one dude. Except yours truly. They are fed, schooled, and taken care of, but apparently, not consistenly held accountable or challenged. Yikers. This is not what I had in mind, but kay gar ni (what do do)? The really frustrating part is that I'm attempting to fill a role in their life left not only void, but with negative impact, roughly 14 years too late. Add in the enjoyable surge of hormones of a teenager and it leads to a pretty interesting mezcla of issues.
I have hesitated to post this, since I didn't want to 1.sound like I'm complaining 2. make the kids look bad in any way, but I figure only the people who really care are looking at this anyway. It's tough, but good. Everyday is a new issue with a new kid. I suppose every given day some issue arises birthed of of simply those three standards above that I hold. Homework is the most annoying one I have to deal with, probably because I wasn't exactly the homework king in my day. But, I never scored 0 out of 20 on a math exam which is why I started holding that standard for them. But I digress.
Believe me. I am wide eyed looking for a person who can fill my role after I leave. Basically a loving, consistent, male who is smarter and stronger than them who can teach and encourage them. This is my dilemma. This is why I haven't decided when I'm coming home. Because all this work I am doing now will easily vanish without the void being replaced. I look at all the Nepali guys I see around, and zero feasible candidates have been presented. It's a bit frustrating. ps- I have barely even tapped into the issues I have hoped to tap into with young males, as I'm still trying to clear the basics that are wiped out at the age of 4.
So, there you have it. There's the reality of the situation. But the thing that keeps me going is realizing that the amount of energy and frustration and effort I am forced to put into these kids is simply the balance of the amount that they need it, and haven't received it. Believe me, somedays a quick flight home is really attractive, but in the long run, it just seems to keep getting delayed.
I'll keep you posted. but now you know.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
pokhara, nepal
hooray.
pictures.
Like I said, I'm not able to download pictures in internet cafes because the computers and connections are too slow. Which is where my new friend Kelly from Delaware comes into play. I needed a computer, and what do you know, she needed a usb cable- oh, the beauty of living in community and combining resources.
So, the pointy mountain is what I look at every day for my "morning survery of the world."
The nice sunset is at a restaurant on the lake (Fewa Tal) here in Pokhara.
The youngun with the guitar is the littlest homie, Bibek.
The kids that look like they just got out of school are some of my students. The boy student standing with his teacher is affectionately referred to as "Mr. Bean" by not just the students, but the teachers and principal as well. The girl is Pushpa.
The guy who looks like he's trying to play teacher by throwing on his nice white collared shirt and khaki pants is yours truly.
and he teaches at the school shown in the photo. Small school, but it does the trick. Except for misspelling "foundation" on the entrance gate.
Enjoy.
more to come.
*uhhh- kelly has to go now, so i'll post the rest of the pictures tomorrow. ps i'm doing this at the only cafe in lakeside with wireless. because emma and i convinced the owner to get wireless 2 weeks ago. actually it was mostly emma, but i want some credit too.
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